Thank You!
written Sept. 2009
Today I went back to the river where I started to drown and everything started to go under. I am at the beach where the relationship I thought was everything had came to an end. At that time, just a little under two years ago, the lady in my life decided to say goodbye. So much pain and hurt at the time. I couldn’t believe the person I had dedicated two years of my life to could caused me this much pain.
Now almost two years later, I can’t help but smile and be thankful. I now realize that it wasn’t her leaving me, but it was God taking control over my life and my spirit. At this point in my life, I have left all the darkness behind and feel so alive and free.
I am happy to say that although I almost drowned, I have made it through. So many hateful thoughts and doing things I knew were wrong served as a weak attempt to compensate for the pain I carried on my back for such a long time. It has been quite a while that I have let go of this pain, but my first time going back to the river got me thinking about the changes that have occurred in my life and heart. The difference between then and now is at the time, I was looking at her and listening to what she was saying, putting all my faith in her. Now, I am looking at the ocean, the sun and the clouds, and I see the entire world waiting for me to accomplish the works God has set in front of me. All I can do now is smile because I am at the happiest point in my life that I ever knew possible.
I thank God for pulling me away and her for letting me go. Yes, I’ve been through a lot during these times. However, if I didn’t go through these rough times, I wouldn’t appreciate my beautiful life that Christ has blessed me with. It’s truly the bad times that makes the good times feel so good.
It Is about 7:30am on this lovely Saturday morning and I see the sun still rising, the clouds and the endless sea which is God talking to me, telling me that He has blessed me; the possibilities of my life are endless now that He has set me free.
All I can do now is thank Jesus for having my best interest in His heart when I couldn’t tell what my best interests were. He knows!
My mind is open, my heart is open, my soul is open, Jesus is in control and I’m in the passenger seat waiting and willing to be taken where He wants me.